Our Little Wonders

Brian and I had three separate composition books where we stored our "baby information" prior to Willow's birth. One consisted of tidbits of information we have learned over the years and our plans and goals for raising our daughter. Every time one of us came upon ideas or products, etc. we jotted it down in the book to refer to in the years to come. The second book was comprised of logistics, finances, long term goals, etc. This was where we calculated our budget for the baby's expenses and means of carrying it out. The third, and most special to all of us is our "Baby: Thoughts, Dates & Momentos" book which is our journey from the time we found out I was pregnant to her birth. I have been dying to keep up with it since she was born but found it harder and harder to do especially as time passed so fast that I soon forgot about it all together, only recalling it when the topic arose amongst friends or family. The following are the first few entries in this third book, mostly written by Brian while I rejoiced in the journey occurring in my own body. I plan to scan the pages of this book as well...in time.

Daddy wrote:
Our journey through life together begins in DECEMBER. Somewhere between the second and third week of DECEMBER, 2003. The love your mother and I share took form in the life that is....
YOU! :)
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So we play Zen Circus, Matthew Sweet and all kinds of crazy rock and roll for you to gestate by. We like the rock music. Mommy adds: And punk rock and Brian's own music - better than ANY!
Mom eats veggie pizzas, subs. She’s having morning sickness and evening sickness ... Mommy adds: The best thing to do is EAT...so I do... a lot too when I actually do eat.
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02.05.04
Momma's doing well. I haven't told her yet but I already love you. Child you are the product of the Greatest Love I have ever felt in my life.
You see you were conceived in Love. Your Mother is the person whom I chose to spend the rest of my life with. Sometimes people come into life by dubious circumstances. Babies can be born to couples who don't love each other. Your mother and I have loved each from damn near the first moment we met.
Because you are an analogue of BOTH your mother and I, YOU BEAR MANY GIFTS.
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02.07.04
Tonight I received a glimpse of you after birth. The incredible love I felt then snapped me back to myself....
It was totally awesome. You will understand one day what it means to travel in the SPIRIT. I learned how to do this, you will too.
Even though life occurs in the PHYSICAL WORLD, it is not grounded to the PHYSICAL WORLD.
It can extend BEYOND. CONSCIOUSNESS exists outside the BODY, while expressing ITSELF thereby.
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02.12.04
Mommy wrote: Because of you...the announcement of your soon to be presence....your father & I will be going out to eat this Valentine's Day! :) It's been quite some time since we've actually had enough money to do so, but this year we both got large tax returns, leaving a little extra to celebrate our love for each other on the day made for romance.
Daddy wrote: We are celebrating your arrival :) and our happiness to raise a family together. This will bring us great joy.
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02.20.04
Today Momma was bleeding. We thought we might have lost you but despite all the Hi jinks, you've still got a strong spirit. You should know that this strength can carry through the WORST of times.
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April 2004
We are making things ready for your arrival. It has been difficult but we bought a house and I've been packing the whole thing up and making arrangements. Your Mom is working the business and packing. She supports me when I'm down and loves me more than anyone ever has or will. I can't believe how good she looks and how strong she is all pregnant. Your Mom knows how to stay on the cheeky side of life. She will find or create happiness. This is one of the many reasons I love her with all of my soul.
All of this you carry within YOUR soul.
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04.26.04
So now we know you are a girl....The evidence? (See pic)
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06.17.04
Momma is so BEAUTIFUL. Everyone tells her this. You had your first live Zen Circus concert (in vivo). The crowd is showering your mother with adoration. She has borne your forming body 6 months now. She is more and more everyday a thing of beauty. She is working so hard to create your body.
Shhh! don't tell anybody but your momma eat so much eggplant she is now looking like an eggplant.
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7.5.04
Mommy wrote: Last night we watched the fireworks in celebrations of the 4th of July. You were tumbling around in my tummy, probably not used to the sounds of boom, boom, boom. It was cool to feel you go along with the sounds.
Daddy wrote: So the entire gestational time we have been Rockin' and banging and booming. You should be used to it when you come out. Hope we haven't scared the shit out of you.
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8.9.04
Mommy wrote: We had the baby shower in your honor this past Saturday....in addition to the many gifts we have already received from your grandparents (brand new crib, Care Bears crib decor & valance, brand new kitchen, work done by themselves (well Bob & Tom), a new lawn mower & weed wacker & more), we also got many clothes to dress your newborn body & lots of baby accessories.
Vicky, who works with your father and has 3 kids of her own, gave us a HUGE wardrobe fill of clothes, onesies, socks, booties, etc. And she also gave us a walker & swing. She was a definite Godsend!
You have been very active in my belly these past few weeks. I'm currently 34 weeks along and we're now just waiting for you to decide when it's time to come out into this world. At the last appointment I was told you were in breech position, meaning your head was up & feet below...in order to deliver vaginally vs. having a C-section, the head would have to be down. Well now you are in the right position to be delivered vaginally.
Today I also found out that you already have a full head of hair! That I didn't expect but since both your father & I have long, thick hair, it figures that you would from birth.
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8.31.04
Mommy wrote: Little baby Willow. Your day to come out of my body and into this world is almost here. I’m at 38 weeks and the doc thinks I won't make it until 40 weeks, which is full term. But we'll see. Your head is deep down into my pelvic bone and putting a lot of pressure on me, I must say, it hurts, but you know, it's well worth the pain. Besides, I can take it. As I write, you are moving around all over my tummy. Must've been because I just ate....you're getting fed too! You've also got food being processed all around you, which must be quite an experience! Before I forget, I want to make a list of the crazy cravings of food I've had since you've been growing inside of me. The most common thing I've craved by far is a sandwich...anything between two slices of bread. That is typically just lettuce, tomato, cheese & mustard, minus any of those if we're out of stock. One day I craved a sandwich so bad but had nothing to make it with other than a slice or two of chicken strips from a salad I had earlier. So I put the chicken on the bread, spread some mustard on the other slice & had myself a lovely sandwich. It definitely fulfilled the craving. I've also been craving bread-type stuff like crackers, pretzels, etc. A lot of peaches have been consumed during the last few months and I must not forget to mention eggplant! Possibly my most dramatic craving besides a sandwich, which is usually had at lunchtime....I get the eggplant craving for dinner.
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August '04
Daddy wrote: Daddy's working his ass off to maintain a comfortable lifestyle and some real stability for you. Your mother is beautiful. I am proud of her. We've both been working hard on setting up your room.
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Mid-September '04
Daddy wrote: So uh...................well one two three
BLAM
So what is labor like? They ask your mother; the ones that haven't had children yet. I see her inability to describe the most pain she has ever had in her life. I jump in. "It's like being run over by a small car repeatedly...Every 30 seconds."
I never saw a human being in so much pain before.
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9.18.04
Mommy wrote: Willow Fae Petero is born unto her very loving parents, Anne & Brian.

Your birth was an incredible experience. It began the day prior, a Friday. The evening before that, we were sleeping in the basement in hopes to shield us from any trees that might have fallen during the stormy Hurricane Ivan. Atlanta got hit by a hurricane which swept through the Atlantic Ocean and hit a number of southeastern states; mostly did its damage in Florida. Fortunately our house was fine, although there were a number of trees which fell onto the streets in our neighborhood.
On Friday morning, your father & I had set our alarms on our cell phones since the power had gone out. I went to work to find the power was still out there and after waiting there for an hour & a half with nothing to do, we went home. I had a Gyne appointment that afternoon to get you checked out and to make sure you were doing okay inside of me. While I was waiting for the midwife to come into the room, I had 4 contractions all within 30 minutes. That was pretty fast, meaning I was definitely in labor. I didn't say anything to the midwife in fear she would want me to check into the hospital already. Your father and I planned to wait at home as long as possible to avoid being in the hospital for too long.
After the appointment, I went home & the contractions were getting stronger. I spoke with your Grandpa Blong and told him I was having what felt like very bad cramps yet I wasn't sure if I was in labor or not. I lied down on the living room couch & tried to sleep, thinking it would take the pain away but the contractions were so strong, I couldn't fall asleep. They were getting stronger & stronger and around 4pm I finally told your father that it was time to get ready to welcome you into this world. When the contractions were strong enough to make me have to lean down, hunched over, I knew you were coming very shortly.
We had to go pick up your Daddy's paycheck at his work just in case we had to pay at the hospital for the extra cost to have a private room to ourselves after you were born. We were then on our way to the hospital. I called Thea, my boss’s wife who already had 3 kids of her own to see how far apart the contractions should be before going to the hospital, just to double check. She said when they are 6 minutes apart, it's time to go. Oops...the contractions at that time were already 3 minutes apart. I wanted to drive, thinking it would be easier to deal with the pain of the contractions if I were distracted by driving, but your father knew better & he drove instead. Thank goodness he did because about 5 minutes before we got to the hospital, the contractions were so strong that I couldn't control myself anymore. I held onto the handle in the car so tightly, not knowing what to do. When we got to the hospital, we had to check in & wait in the waiting room with a bunch of other family members who were waiting to see their newborn babies.
I was going nuts because your birth was eminent at any moment. The nurses at the waiting desk knew I did not belong in the waiting room....I needed to be in the delivery room right away & they admitted me quickly. By then the contractions were so strong that my legs were flying in the air uncontrollably & your father said that I began singing opera sounding sounds like he's never heard out of me before. Because my own mother had me & your uncles, Mike & Kevin, naturally without an epidural, which is a big needle stuck in your back to numb the entire lower part of the body, I wanted to do it the same way. But the pain was just unbearable. I tried to fight it for as long as I could....I did not want any drugs to take away the pain but after I got to the point where I couldn't catch a breath during the contractions, I finally gave in & asked the nurse to get the anesthesiologist and have him put the epidural needle in my back. Your Daddy was doing his best to help me get through the pain prior to the epidural by rubbing my back.

******I'm now writing the rest of the story almost 4 years later so my memory is a bit dim but I figure it's better to finish now before more time passes & I forget the majority of it.******

I recall falling asleep around 10:30pm, shortly after the epidural worked it's magic and virtually took the pain away entirely, so much so, that I barely noticed the contractions. Daddy had also fallen asleep on the narrow "bed" next to the window. I was awakened by the midwife, Jennifer, who was wearing green Chuck Taylor shoes (like the ones your Daddy always wears) at 3:30 am. She said I was ready to start pushing and had to wake up to do the work. I told her I wanted to go back to sleep but then it hit me that you were ready to come out, I wasn't going to miss this! Daddy had also woken up and got the camera ready to take your very first pictures to share with everyone.
Jennifer had told me do a test push to see where the head was at and when I did, she immediately said to stop because you were about to come out and she did not have everything prepared yet. The other nurses set up everything and then on one of the next contractions Jennifer told me to push, I did and out you came! Daddy said it was like you just came shooting out....you just popped right out. Now how easy was that?! The epidural was still working (I do recall waking up sometime before the birth and asking them to put more in because I was starting to feel the contractions again) so I suppose I pushed harder than I realized because I couldn't feel a thing.

Your Firsts.....

2.17.05
Mommy wrote: When you were a little over 4 months old, actually closer to 5 months, you began watching us eat & drink and expressed interest in joining in the fun, so one night while we were all eating dinner (your Mom, Dad & Grandma Blong), Daddy offered your some potatoes, which you happily accepted in your mouth. So then Mommy gave you some of her lima beans, squashed up a bit so you could eat them without teeth, since you don’t have any yet and you really liked them. From that night forward, we made a special dish just for you of whatever vegetables we were eating each night so you could eat dinner wish us and be part of the family...doing what we do.
Mommy made navy bean & black-eyed pea soup and she ground up some extra navy beans & black-eyed peas in the blender for you. You like those and avocado and green beans. Grandma Blong made you some beets a few days in a row...one day you ate a whole cup full of beets! We've had to prepare the same amount of vegetables as we would have a serving of because you eat it all up! It's so cool to watch you open your mouth wanting more as if you've been doing it all along. You learn so quickly just by watching us and wanting to be a part of what we do.
Your Mommy & Daddy like to have beer & wine after work and with dinner and you watch us drink & show enthusiasm which tells us you want it too! Well you're a bit too young for a drink with alcohol, so we give you water instead, which you don't like too much when you drink it but you gladly accept the drink from a glass because it's just like what we do. Grandma Blong bought you a "sippy" cop so you can hold it without spilling & drink your water to wash down the food we feed you. But you seem to have such interest in Mommy's wine glass.
The only food you don't like so far is carrots. Mommy tried to feed them to you and you open your mouth but don't enjoy actually eating them, so no more carrots for now.
About the time you were 3 months old, you started using your vocal chords making little "ahhhh" noises. Now (at 5 months) you like talking a lot, especially when Daddy puts music on.
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August 24, 2005
Mommy wrote: You've got teeth! Lots of em....it was hard when the first few came through, you were in a lot of pain but could only cry & cry, and you did. But more are coming in and you seem to have adapted to the pain & are doing just fine. You are still not crawling or walking yet...you walk while we hold your hands and you love it but definitely have no interest in doing it yourself.
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October 7, 2005
Mommy wrote: Your first birthday has come & gone. Wow! I cannot believe just how much time has gone by in what seems like only a few months, not even. Wow! I am so proud of you and your father and I love watching you do your thing...you are so smart, everything you learn, you learn on your own. Only sometimes do we need to show you things & how to do them, but most of the time you have no interest in what we are trying to show you, if anything, you just want to be with us and be close and we love you.
Your birthday, September 18, 2004, fell on a Sunday in 2005, a weekend, so we got to have the party on the exact day of your birthday. We invited lots of people but most of your family is out of state so they couldn't make it. But they celebrated for & with you in spirit, like your Uncles Mike & Kevin, Grandma & Grandpa & Great Grandmothers. Even your Great Grandpa Al, not even blood related, has paid a visit every now & then & gives his blessings to you. He died about a year before you were born but has been with you when you were still in my belly and again intermittently after you were born into this world.
Your actual birth time, 3:33am, conveniently fell on the early morning following a "show night" (when your father & Zen Circus played a music show at the Last Great Watering Hole, their "HOME" venue. There were a few people at the HOC (House of Circus) after the show and you were awakened and stayed up even after 3:33am, so we celebrated your actual birthday and time with you. Unfortunately because you didn't get as much sleep as you are used to, you were tired on the day of your birthday and your party. Plus you didn't even take a nap after lunch, which you are used to doing so everything was a bit delusional that day.
Apparently there's a tradition for the baby who turns 1 year old to "SMASH" their first birthday cake. Well, I didn't think of the fact that you do not like your hands to have anything on them. Publix, the store Mommy bought your cake at, (and they do make EXCELLENT cakes, similar to Deerfield's Bakery, where your mother grew up) gave you a free "SMASH" cake of your own. We all gathered around you & sang Happy Birthday. We all clapped our hands, you joined in happily. When we put the smash cake in front of you, you looked at us wondering what we wanted you to do. Uncle Garrey stepped in and put your hand in the cake and you started to cry. You hate your hands being dirty, especially your fingers. Lauren tried again, putting your hand in the cake to get you to smash it but you wanted no part & kept crying. Mommy finally realized what an idiotic idea it was to forcefully make you get your hands dirty & quickly cleaned you up.

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4.23.06
Mommy wrote: We haven't written much in this journal in quite awhile...you must understand raising a child while maintaining cleanliness of the house, clothes, etc....it gets quite overwhelming...That is just an excuse but valid enough. Your father is loving me while I write, making gorilla sounds while kissing my shoulders, neck, cheeks, etc. In any case, while I write sloppily, drunk and stupid, we wish to share with you, the moment your father and I met and fell in love.
It was September 15, 2001. My friend, Brooks, who happened to be a friend of your fathers, took me to a show at the Somber Reptile in Atlanta. It was the Red Cross Benefit Concert for the 9/11/2001 World Trade Center victims. Everyone in the country was in deep shock, disbelief and despair...people sought a deeper connection and we all became "FAMILY" for a time. Your father and I met during this time. It's kinda funny because Daddy says Mommy was his "everybody" and he wasn't looking for anybody...neither was Mommy at the time, but what could we say? I show up in Daddy's words, "All cheeky and beautiful & shit!"
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5.29.07
Mommy wrote: The day after Memorial Day. I realized I have not been good at recording all the little moments of your life that are so precious and that I would cherish as memories of NOW, later on in life, as will you. I'm 28 now and don't recall much of my life when I was your age now, 2 years and eight months. Possibly getting a typewritten recording will help me keep track better. I might do that shortly (funny, I'm doing it now!), as these days most everything revolves around technology and even I have trouble handwriting things anymore since I've been typing for over 15 years.
Your grandparents, "Grandma and Poppa" as you call them, were in town for Memorial Day weekend to visit you and Mommy & Daddy. We were hanging out in the backyard near the garden when they pulled up and Grandma will never forget how you put your hands over your mouth, so happy to see them and ran up to give Grandma and Poppa a hug.
Today, just little things you did made me want to write about to never forget. For example, when Momma was done with her food, you asked me if I was all finished and when I said "yes," you took my plate and put it on the counter by the sink for me. Thank you!
The first night Grandma and Poppa were here, we all sat down for dinner and out of the blue, you lifted up your plate and said, "Cheers!" We usually say cheers and cling our glasses or beer or whatever we're drinking together, but this time we all went along with your idea and said "cheers," clinking our plates together. We all laughed, it was fun.
Grandma and Poppa took you to stay with them at their hotel each night they were in town and one night after you drank a lot of water and told Grandma that you needed to go potty, but she said no, thinking you were just trying for an excuse not to go to bed, you ended up wetting your bed, getting everything wet. You then woke Grandma up at 3:30am to let her know what had happened and after she got you cleaned up, your bed was still wet so she let you sleep in the bed with her & Poppa. Poppa said you are very particular with your blanket. It has to cover you perfectly or you'll continue to try to fix it.